The Happiness Advantage

Tweet
  Last week, I came across a blog post that really struck a cord with me. It was based on a TED talk that dealt with positive psychology, how our world or 'reality' is shaped by the lens in which we see it, and how our goal-based, never-satisfied society has it all backwards.

  We all are striving to lead successful/happy lives, aren't we? This video has an interesting take on how we all can affect, and improve, our reality. Take a look at the 12 minute talk from Shawn Achor. I think it will intrigue, and encourage you; it did me.

A Few of My Take-Aways:

• Our reality doesn't shape us, how we view our world (the lens) shapes our reality.
         We assume: our external world (the things we have, where we live, how much money we make, our job, the school we go to, the people around us, etc..) predicts our happiness levels.

                   When in reality: only 10% of our long term happiness is predicated on our external world. Our happiness is based on the way our brain processes the world.

• What we are exposed to (our lens: news, tv, internet, friends), and how we react to it, shapes our levels of happiness.
• Through our lens, our brain trains itself. Having negativity around you all the time, will only breed negativity.  After seeing constant negativity, our brains expect and look for the negative, over the positive. The alternative, surrounding ourselves in positivity and training our brains to look for the positive, is true as well.

My Greatest Take-Away:

  Our society thinks: 'if I am successful, then I will be happy.' But we all know, in reality, when we achieve a little bit of success, we just want more. So the bar is pushed a little bit higher, leaving us still-striving to reach success (and in turn, our brain never reaches happiness).

  What if we changed our mindset to: 'being happy will make me more successful'? When a person's level of positivity is raised, they reach the happiness advantage where you see improved productivity (success) across the board (intelligence rises, creativity levels rise, energy levels rise, etc...).

OUR BRAINS ARE MORE PRODUCTIVE AT POSITIVE THAN THEY ARE AT NEGATIVE, NEUTRAL, OR STRESSED STATES.

How do we become more POSITIVE IN THE PRESENT, and in turn, raise our levels of productivity/success?

  Believe it or not, we can train our brain to be MORE positive. We can train our brains to look for the positive, instead of the negative. Achor goes on to describe how to create lasting positive change, in a manner similar to breaking a bad habit.

For 21 consecutive days, do the following:

• 3 Gratitudes - on a daily basis, write down three new things you're grateful for. This causes the brain to look for the positives first.
• Journaling - write about one positive experience you've had in the past 24 hours. This allows your brain to re-live the positive!
• Exercise - teaches your brain that your behavior matters.
• Meditate - allows our brains to focus at the task at hand. It trains us to get away from our multitasking society.
• Random Acts of Kindness - write one positive email/message to someone in your support network praising or thanking them.

  Is it possible that the key to success and happiness is based on the simple, old adage of the glass being half-full versus half-empty? And then, training ourselves to see the brighter side of life?

  It's obvious that each of us have a natural propensity to be more optimistic or pessimistic. And what makes us happy is specific to each individual as well. So isn't it nice to know we can make a difference, and we should look beyond what makes average person happy, and how the average person measures success? What do you think?

Focusing on the Positives

What makes you smile?

Tweet
  There's a lot of negativity in our world. Turn on the TV, or go on the Internet, and it's all around us. On the news, in television shows, down the line to our countless social media outlets.

  And when you're constantly surrounded by negative, it's easy to get caught up in the wave, and yourself, turn into 'Negative Nancy,' isn't it?

  For whatever reason, our minds focus on, and highlight negative thoughts more often than they absorb positive reinforcements.

The Psychology
  Historically speaking, bad things threatened our survival (drought, an attacking animal, threatening situations). Over time, our minds evolved to hang onto those negative things more-securely to help ensure our survival with quick and swift action. The negative alerted us to danger. This is the trait negativity bias.

  The second reason we hold onto more bad than good is that our brains focus more on things that are out of the ordinary. On a day-to-day basis, our lives are pretty good. Things are at least OK for most of us. Think about it: good things happen on a regular basis throughout our day, and we rarely bat an eye. But the moment something bad hits, we fall apart. Because it's unusual, we focus on it. We fret about it, we tell our friends about it, we might carry one negative thing with us for the rest of the day! What about those 10-15 great things that have also happened? This is called the positivity offset.

  I'm not in the US right now, but I can bet that the lead story on SportsCenter over the weekend was Ron Artest's (sorry, I refuse to call him Metta World Peace) elbow to James Harden's head. So out of ALL the positive, amazing, graceful plays that happened in the world of sports, THAT was the one play that everyone focused on, and that everyone will remember. Negative sells.

  Even as a basketball player, I've always focused more on the shots I missed, instead of relishing the ones I made. That is no different than a child remembering the the one negative thing they are told rather than remembering the five positives.

  Over time, negative, anxious and defeated feelings accumulate, and before too long, you're stuck in a rut. So if we're surrounded by negativity, and our brains psychologically focus more on the negative, how do we keep ourselves from falling into the abyss?

  Unfortunately, I don't think it's possible to rid ourselves of negative in the world. But how do we focus more on the positive, more on the light that is surely in our lives?

How to Focus on the Positives
  Not focusing on the negative can be a serious exercise in discipline. It takes a lot of willpower and practice not to focus on the bad. Just like it might take practice to find and focus on the good. No matter our situation, positive emotions ARE there! You just might have to work to find them.

• As 'zen' as it may sound, focus on the present moment. Again, most of our day-to-day moments are positive. But if we're fretting too much about the past, or worrying about the future, we miss out on opportunities to experience positivity in the here-and-now.

• Pay attention to the human spirit, it can be amazing! What little things have others done for you that have helped put a positive spin on your day? And in turn, what have you done, or what can you do, that might positively affect another person's day? No matter how big, or small the gesture, they all make a difference! Remember those times. "What we focus on, we empower & enlarge. Good multiplies when focused upon. Negativity multiplies when focused upon. The choice is ours: which do we want more of?" - Julia Cameron

Celebrate your successes!

• Celebrate your accomplishments. When you deserve it, really celebrate! Too often we're already looking for the next step, or our next conquest (this also can be applied to 'living in the moment'). When it's appropriate, pat yourself on the back, & take a moment to celebrate your success. It's like celebrating a win. Don't forget to celebrate a win by moving too quickly onto the next game. Just like you shouldn't celebrate too often (after each made basket, for example)!


• For a more drastic change, we might have to change our brain process. This changes our outlook, or our perspective. For one month, write down three things a day you're thankful for, and three things you're proud of. This exercise will make you think of the abundance in your life, not what you might be lacking. It trains us to look for the positives in our daily lives. "Change your thoughts and you'll change your world." - Norman Vincent Peale

 "What kind of energy are you putting out into the world? There is nothing in between."

  What about when you feel others are dragging you down? How do you not allow others' negative attitudes affect you in a bad way?

Find that bright spot, and focus on it!

  Obviously, it's important to surround ourselves with positive influences and positive attitudes whenever we can! We can try as much as we can to avoid, but of course that's not possible all the time (and avoidance doesn't leave much room for growth). Co-workers, teammates, classmates, colleagues of any sort aren't up for debate in most situations.

  So when you're around that negativity, how do you overcome it? Just the same as we overcome our own negativity, we shift our focus!

  No person is 100% bad. But once we've been around them often enough, the bad might be all that we see. Look for situations where you have positive interactions with that person, and instead relish in those moments.

  It's also important to mention taking responsibility for yourself. Your thoughts, actions (and reactions), and energy all contribute to the goodness (and the problems) in every relationship you have. 'If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem', right?

  These are some things that have arisen in my life recently, and I'm trying my best make a change for the better. As with anything, it's a work in progress! There are times when we need to be reminded that there are some things we cannot control. As much as we might try, we just can't! In those situations, choose to let it be, and move on! Let's focus our energy on the things we CAN change, and CAN affect.

  We can tell ourselves, 'think positively, focus on the good' all we want. But we have to do more than just 'think it'. If we have a natural propensity to drift towards and remember the negative, we have to retrain our brains. It takes time to change habits, so it definitely will take a little time to change our perspective! Stick with it!

 LINKS:

Trait Negativity Bias 

Jillian Michaels Podcast 4/7/2012

Positivity Ratio

Attractive or Repulsive?

The Show Goes On

Tweet

Power of thought.

  The basketball season in France is rapidly coming to a close. With four games left to be played in roughly four weeks, I'll be packing my bags for the US in no time. But til then, it's important I make the most of these next four weeks. For reasons I really can't delve into in the blogosphere, it's becoming increasingly obvious that my last weeks in Dunkerque will be filled with character-building moments.

  I usually am a "glass is half full" kind of person. But sometimes it can be pretty difficult to find a silver lining, and keep your attitude upbeat. During those times, I often take to a collection of thoughts and quotes I've gathered throughout the years, to help me find the brighter side of things.

  I'm not quite sure when I decided this, but at some point along the line, I came to the conclusion that attitude is everything. Your thoughts and your attitude can make or break a situation. It can turn the best of times into unforgettable moments. And likewise, can turn a difficult situation into something you learn from, that
ends up not being as tough as you originally thought it would be.

  Here are some of my favorites. Skim through them, see what hits a cord with you, and send me your favorites if you have any!

Determination/Work Ethic:

"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." - Steve Prefontaine 

"There's no on/off switch. You have to do it everyday." - Unknown 

"Hard work without talent is a shame, but talent without hard work is a tragedy." - Robert Half 

"We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act, but a habit" - Aristotle 

"Win or lose you will never regret working hard, making sacrifices, being disciplined or focusing too much." - John Smith 

"Don't count the days, make the days count." - Muhammad Ali 

"Desire is the most important factor in the success of any athlete." - Willie Shoemaker 

"I've failed over and over and over again in my life...and that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan 

"Ambition is priceless..." - Wale 

"And if you fall, stand tall & come back for more." - Tupac 

"If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse." - Unknown 

"Do things with passion, or not at all." - Unknown 

"Never give up on the things that make you smile." - Unknown

Going Outside Your Comfort Zone:

"A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there." - Unknown 

"If you are afraid of failure you don't deserve to be successful!" - Charles Barkley

Positive Thinking:

"Change your thoughts and you'll change your world." - Norman Vincent Peale 

"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.” - Gandhi 

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't. You're right." - Henry Ford 

"What kind of energy are you putting out into the world? There is nothing in between." - Unknown 

"What we focus on, we empower & enlarge. Good multiplies when focused upon. Negativity multiplies when focused upon. The choice is ours: which do we want more of?" - Julia Cameron 

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you'll never, ever have enough." - Oprah

Progress in Action:

"Don't miss your promise being passive. Passive people get passed up." - Unknown 

"Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up and knows it must move faster than the lion or it will not survive. Every morning a lion wakes up and it knows it must move faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve. It doesn’t matter if you are the lion or the gazelle, when the sun comes up, you better be moving." - Maurice Greene 

"We write our story a chapter a day with the deeds we do and words we say. Make your story a good one today!" - Unknown 

"Who is on your team? If they are not adding -- they are subtracting. Cut the weights from your wings so you can fly." - Jason Lester 

"Success is not permanent & failure is not fatal." -Mike Ditka 

"Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." - Desmond Tutu

Staying in the Moment:

"We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today.  I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great.  If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time." - Art Buchwald 

"Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.  And today?  Today is a gift.  That's why we call it the present." - Babatunde Olatunji

Miscellaneous:

"No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you." - Althea Gibson 

"Always give without remembering & always receive without forgetting." - Brian Tracy 

"Friends who believe in you when others do not, friends who tell you can do it when you fear otherwise, friends are a gift" - Unknown 

"Never make excuses. Your friends won't need them, and your foes won't believe them." - John Wooden 

"If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success." - Will Smith 

"Just because you CAN doesn't mean that you WILL. You must decide for yourself to take the necessary actions in order to achieve results." - Unknown 

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him." - James D. Miles

  But these inspirational sayings can only get you so far. At what point do you turn your thoughts and attitudes into your actions? Granted, thinking positively is a HUGE step, and one you must take. However, making your thoughts your actions is the biggest jump (and the biggest question mark) in my mind. What is the process of making that happen?

  Good intentions are great, but without action ... they're just that -- intentions.

Lupe Fiasco - The Show Goes On (take a listen to the third verse, in particular)

  Lots of things to think about today. But we're making progress! 

  ~ Sabrina

An Unexpected Boost: Learning from those around you

Tweet

Cope in the post.

  The 2011-2012 season is rapidly coming to a close here in Dunkerque. Five more games, and we can call it a wrap.

  This past weekend, we had our last bye of the season, and I took advantage by watching as much basketball as I possibly could. It wasn't necessarily a conscious effort on my part, it just sort of worked out that way. And I think I found an unexpected boost to finish out my season. 

  Here in France (and Belgium, since I am so close to the border), there are various men's and women's pro leagues. With the number of other teams in the area, you would have thought I would have made it to several games at this point in the season. But until this weekend, I had only been to one game since I got to France in August (a women's LFB game that a friend played in January).

  In the span of two days, I went to two men's games: one Pro B game in France, and a Division I game in Belgium to watch a fellow Colorado alum Chris Copeland play.

  To me, it's very different watching a game in person, rather than just on TV. Obviously, I have seen my fair share of televised basketball games recently. But there is nothing like watching a game in person.

Lille versus Le Portel.

  You can see how each individual approaches the game. Their preparation. Their interaction with their teammates and coaches. Their focus. Their intensity. None of that can be conveyed though the television screen (or the computer screen in my case).

  In case you didn't know, the men's and women's game are two completely different games. Sure it's basketball, but they way the games are played, and even how the players approach the game is vastly different. (Or maybe MY approach is vastly different than how I see most guys' approach being.)

  I don't know how to properly describe it other than saying, I think guys take a "worry about yourself, and it's a full time job" approach. Meaning, they concentrate fully on doing their job, and their job alone, going into the game.

Fresh Perspective
  This weekend, and watching those two games was kind of an eye-opener for me. Or a reminder. And a fresh perspective. When you go week after week, game after game doing the same thing over and over again, it's easy to get stuck in a rut. You're in your own world, and you may or may not get any feedback or advice. As a result, you focus on the same things each and every game. And sometimes when that focus becomes more and more narrow, you can get into trouble.

  So that's what watching those two games this weekend did for me. It broadened my perspective, and it reminded me there are other ways to approach a game (Not that how I have been going into games is wrong. I just think it's good to change up your focus, and freshen it up a bit.)

  I came away from this weekend with a different outlook, and picked up a few things that I can add to my focus to help make me a better player. And I think refocusing will help me in my final five games this season.

  Guys play the game with so much confidence in THEIR game. It's not cockiness (well sometimes it's cockiness, but the confidence I respect, and am referring to is NOT cocky). And their approach to the game reflects their attitude, and that confidence. You can see it in how they warm up, and how they step onto the court.

Floor spread, one on one. Easy.

  During the game in Belgium, I found myself watching Chris a lot. What he did when he had the ball in his hands. And what he did when he was off the ball. We have a similar style of play and skill set, but he has more of a scorer's mentality than I have ever had. He evaluates, and thinks the game in the same ways that I do.

  I noticed he does what he does best, and he's committed to it. He scores the ball. And he asks for/wants the ball every time down the court. But not in a selfish way. He's just aggressive, and wants to do his best for his team. 

  Cause when he's at his best, his team is at it's best. That is something I need to remind myself, and apply to my own game. When I'm at the top of my game, my team will only benefit.

Do What You Do Best
  I get caught up in 'running the play' too much, and forget to just play. But at the end of the day, it's basketball. A game I've been playing since I was five or six. Regardless of the system you play in, the object of the game is to put the ball in the basket. So you have to figure out how to best do that. No matter what. 

  Another thing I noticed was that Chris was able to focus on just doing his job. He wasn't worried about helping the point guard get the ball up the court, or if the center or small forward were in the right position on the court. He focused on himself, and his job.

  He evaluated how the defense was guarding him, and he adjusted accordingly by reading the defense. It's what you're taught to do from the time you first start playing. You always read the defense. If you have an advantage in some way, you exploit that advantage -- regardless if the play calls for it.

  The last thing I took away from Chris's game, was that he was never in a hurry. He took exactly what the defense gave him. If the defense took one thing away, he countered. That's the great thing about being a versatile player: there's no perfect way to guard you. You always have an answer to how a defender is playing you.

Floor's spaced!

  When you take this approach, you're reminded just how EASY the game of basketball is. It's not a complicated game, but sometimes it seems that way. Over-thinking can be one of the biggest deterrents to a great basketball player.

  I learned (or re-learned) a lot from watching Chris this weekend. It was a great refresher for me.

  It reminded me of things I have told myself time and time again, and somehow forget over the course of a season. It allowed me to re-evaluate what I'm doing on the court, and how I approach the game.

  Anytime you feel like you're in a rut, sometimes the only way to get out of it is to change things up, and get a fresh perspective. I'm looking forward to my final five games this season. And I'm excited to put my new/updated approach to good use!

Setting Goals and Bettering Ourselves

You gotta put in the work to achieve ANYTHING!

Tweet
  Resolutions and the setting of new goals go hand in hand with the start of a new year. I, for one, have never been much of a New Year's Resolution setter.

  Matter of fact, I don't think I've ever consciously made a resolution at the beginning of a new year. Sure, I've set plenty of goals for myself over the years, but never a 'New Year's Resolution'.

  For whatever reason, this year I'm contemplating actually jotting a few down. (Or am I too late? Seeing as were already a few weeks into 2012!) It dawned on me, that I haven't consciously set out to achieve one particular thing in quite some time: haven't written it down, and really set my mind to it.

  And when you think about it, that's exactly how we make ourselves better. You consciously put your mind towards achieving a goal, and you formulate a plan on exactly how you're going to do it. We're all works in progress, and bettering myself and my quality of life, is something that has grown to be a priority for me.

  There's one thing, though, that I don't like about New Year's Resolutions: Why do we wait for a new year to try to better ourselves?

  Maybe we should make monthly goals. Those might be easier to stick to, and easier to evaluate. After all, isn't one of the more-amusing things about setting New Year's Resolutions is how quickly they are broken?

  Anyways, onto some resolutions.

Set Up for Success
  So if I'm going to make some resolutions, I want to set myself up to be successful -- to follow through with them. It takes some honesty and self-evaluation. What do you want to change about your life? What do you want to pursue?

  Remember, not every goal and resolution has to be a huge epiphany. They can be light-hearted and smaller-scale too. But it's the deeper ones that probably will be the most difficult to achieve, and in-turn, have the most payoff.

  The most important thing when setting goals, is to make them manageable. You have to have a clear vision of what exactly you are trying to achieve. The more-specific, the better.

  The days of saying, 'I want to be healthier' or 'I want a better job' are over. What EXACTLY does that mean? Being healthier and getting a better job have different meanings for everyone. What does it mean, and what does it look like to YOU?

A Goal Pyramid
  Probably the most-productive way to setting long term goals and resolutions is to make a goal pyramid.

Top Level
  At the top of that pyramid is your very specific, very detailed goal. Define your goal. Make it measurable. Give it a time limit. And make it realistic. (Nothing like biting off too much, and immediately making things seem impossible.)

  As we all know, achieving a goal is difficult. A lot of times, we have to do things that are unpleasant and uncomfortable in order to reach that goal. It's during those unpleasant times we can lose our motivation. If achieving our goals were easy, we'd all be perfect human-beings though, wouldn't we?

  Somehow, in order to provide ourselves with the motivation, we have to form an attachment to our goal. What will reaching my goal make me feel like? What does it feel like in my mind when I reach my goal? Why is it worth it?

  We can accomplish anything if we feel it is worth it, and we feel it is achievable. Our reasons are the source for our motivation.

  I think forming this emotional attachment is the most important aspect of reaching our goals. Isn't the inability to stay motivated the biggest excuse used when goals AREN'T achieved? Someone else's motivations or reasons won't help you reach YOUR goals. It's within you.

  So we ask ourselves: how will my life be better when this goal is attained?

  That's what will keep you going. Outside motivations might help in the interim, but it's what is within (your reasons; why you want your goal) that will keep you on track. 

Second and Third Level
  The second level of the pyramid is the road map to achieving your goal. What are the more-immediate steps, or goals, to achieving our ultimate goal at the top of the pyramid? What can you do today?

  Essentially, they are a series of smaller-scaled goals.

  You can break your pyramid down into monthly, weekly, and daily goals. Our daily goals will help us achieve our weekly goals, and our weekly goals will help us achieve our monthly goals, and so on.

  Shorter-term goals are easier to evaluate, and are easier to hold ourselves accountable to. The HUGE goal may seem overwhelming, and too difficult, but when broken down into a series of smaller goals, it's made to seem more-achievable. And that's what this is all about. We want to set ourselves up for success.
  

"One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time." – John Wanamaker

Tell it to the World
  Once our goals are set, and our pyramid is made, tell people about your goals! More than likely, it will help us stick to our guns -- be accountable. When you tell someone what you want to achieve, you'll probably be less-likely to throw in the towel. And if they're important to you, more often than not, they will offer support to you along the way.

  Finally, it becomes about action! It's about work ethic, and doing our work on a daily basis to reach our goals. It's common-knowledge that it takes 21 days to create a new habit. It doesn't happen overnight, so we can't expect immediate change. It's a long process. 

Breaking Through Negative Thoughts

  While action is at the forefront of goal achievement, our minds have a tendency to get in the way too, can't they? We must learn to deal with, and manage negative thoughts. Changing our mindset goes hand in hand with modifying our behavior. We have to train our brain. How can we respond to negative thoughts and behaviors with things that are positive and reaffirming?

  

  When negative thoughts creep into our minds, it's then we need to go back, and re-read our reasons. Remind ourselves of our motivations! Why are these difficult/uncomfortable times worth it? What did we want to feel like, again?

  Another way to turn a negative into a positive is to provide yourself with incentives. Reward yourself! When you reach a weekly or monthly goal, give yourself a pat on the back. (not just a mental pat on the back, but an actual reward for yourself!) Create reaffirming rewards for reaching your smaller-step-goals. Positive reinforcement helps in the journey.

  Resolutions and goals are very achievable, but it's a difficult journey, no doubt. The key is motivation! We have to believe in ourselves, and continually remind ourselves why our goals are important to us along the way.

  How many of you all set New Year's Resolutions? Or do you set goals for yourself on a regular basis?

  I'm going to give my New Year's Resolutions some serious thought, and I'll let you know what they are in the coming weeks!

  LINKS:

Jillian Michaels Podcast 12/31/2006

Jillian Michaels Podcast 12/16/2011

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't -- you're right."

Tweet

I love this picture!

  We've all heard the quotes a thousand times:

• it's 'mind over mater'
• 'life isn't what happens to you, it's about how you react to what happens to you'
• how things are: '90% mental, and 10% physical'

  These sayings have been drilled into our heads over and over again. But do we actually believe them?
  And if we do, do we try implementing them into our lives?

  Sorry, these are the thoughts of a psychology major! Positive thinking and thoughts affecting outcome are some things that have arisen with me recently, and I thought blogging about them would help me sort though those thoughts.

The power of thought!

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy 
  One of the most-impactful and meaningful things I studied as a psychology student was the idea of self-fulfilling prophecy.

  A self-fulfilling prophecy happens when a positive or negative expectation about circumstances, events, or people may affect a person's behavior toward them in a manner that causes those expectations to be fulfilled.

  In short, it's thinking something true.

  For example, having a 'me against the world attitude'. Having that sort of attitude in all facets of your life probably won't work out very well. By constantly bringing that attitude to the table, the people around you might think you're a difficult person to be around (your attitude/behavior ends up alienating those around you) and because of this, they might not want to interact with you.

  That alienation, in turn, feeds your me against the world attitude even more.

  Another way of looking at it is: what is your internal dialogue, or what is your story? What are the thoughts that you consistently have about yourself? Those thoughts, stories, ideas, are amazingly powerful because usually they end up becoming our reality.

  Whatever our story is, it bleeds into everything. You come to expect it. You look for it, because you're so used to seeing it. (examples: feeling powerless, attracting abusive relationships, people being 'out to get' you, co-workers not liking you, etc.)

Henry Ford quote.

Focus on Positives, or Negatives?
  We all have the situation that seemingly arises everywhere in our lives, or a scenario that we recreate over and over. The question is, do we allow that story, or those thoughts impede our progress? Is it making the quality of our life poorer? Do we focus on the negatives in our lives more than the positives?

  If life really is mind over matter, shouldn't we do our best to focus on the positive aspects in our life, and stop dwelling on the negative?

My Stumbling Block
  This occurs with me when I begin thinking about what I am going to do after my basketball career is over. The first thoughts I have are: 'I am only qualified to play basketball', and I am inexperienced at anything 'real world' related.

  You can guess that by thinking this way, and focusing on those things would cause anxiety. Not only that, it doesn't allow you to enjoy your current situation as much as you should.

  It's a domino effect of sorts, because you can't selectively turn off emotions. Your anxiety leads to avoidance, and shutting down from the other parts of your life. And that, in turn, leads to being even more alienated, feeling more alone, and more reclusive. It's not a good cycle to repeat over and over again. So HOW do you keep this domino effect from starting in the first place?

Make a Choice
  The only solution is to CHOOSE to focus on the positives! Instead of worrying and focusing on the negative THOUGHTS in your head, focus on what is REALITY! What is REAL? What have you done? Celebrate the things you have accomplished!

  For me, think about all the awesome experiences I've had, the great people I've met, the fun things I've gotten to do, the places I've seen, how I've grown over the years. How can THESE things help me in my future endeavors? What are the skills and traits I have acquired through these experiences that transfer over into the 'real world'?

Easier said than done sometimes, isn't it?!

  I've decided that if you focus too much on the negative and the fear, it stops you from celebrating and appreciating the great things, and moving forward. You can never let the anxiety and fear win!

  The mind is a powerful thing, and we have a lot more control over our outlook than we might think.

  Let's make conscious choices (on a daily basis!) about what we focus on, and what we put our energy into (and what NOT to focus on, and waste energy on!). Hopefully by focusing on the positive, that old 'story' you tell yourself will erode away, and your internal dialogue will slowly begin to change for the better.

  That's what I'm going to work on: focusing on the positive! What's your story?

LINKS:
Jillian Michaels Podcast 10/21/2011

The Dreaded Injury Bug

Season in Germany.

Tweet
  Now that I'm officially off the injured list (well, kinda/sorta), I can write about what it's like to be out of action for a prolonged period of time. Couldn't write about it before I got back on the court because I couldn't have you guys feeling sorry for me!

  We all know injuries are a part of sports. If you put your body on the line often enough, you're bound to get hurt every once in a while.

  Unfortunately, some people get hurt more often than others. I haven't quite figured out the magical equation to that one yet. I've had years where all I suffered from was a few bruises. And I've also had years where I couldn't seem to stay on the court! Just luck of the draw, I guess.

  When you're out injured, you feel very isolated from your team. The great thing about team sports is actually being a PART of that team.

  The camaraderie, working hard together, joking together in the locker room, working towards a common goal, the togetherness. When you're injured for a prolonged period of time, that team and those dynamics are taken away.

  One or two days on the sideline might be manageable. But to me, anything more than that is too long. You'd do just about anything to get back out there and compete, and to be a part of the team again.

Luleå Basket, Sweden (2008-2009)

  Sure, you ARE still a member of that team. But it's different when you're not on the court working with them. You can cheer them on all you want, but you don't feel exactly what they're feeling at the moment. You don't know how tired their legs are. Or how sore their muscles are. When you're not going through that same trials, it's not quite the same.

  I don't know how this compares with other professions. In what other job can you actually go to work, but are not able to actively participate in your daily obligations? It's a very strange dynamic that's for sure.

  Then you have to deal with the time frame until you're back on the court 100%. If you're out 'too long', you feel like people start questioning your commitment and toughness. I always struggle with this. Because you was so badly to return to action. But if you come back too soon, due to pressure from management, coaches, fans, etc, then you can potentially do more damage.

  As I've gained more experience (unfortunately, I've spent way too much time in the training room over the years), I've learned that it is best to go with your gut, and listen to your body. Only you know how you feel. And only you know when you feel 100% confident in returning.

  Once you do get back on the court, you have to work that much harder. While you were out, I'm sure you were doing some cardio to try stay in shape. But again, it's just not the same.

Wolfenbüttel Wildcats, Germany (2009-2010)

  You can't simulate the stop and go intervals of practice on a stationary bike, or in a pool. You have to be on the court to get that conditioning. You also have to work to chip the rust off your game. When you don't have that ball in your hands, you lose the touch, the feel for the game. Your timing is off, and your skills aren't sharp.

  So those first couple days back, you have to put in extra work to get back to where you want to be.

  I think being injured is harder mentally than it is physically. For me, it's easy to put in the work (the rehab, the conditioning, the skill work). But it's having that patience to let your body heal, to keep the big picture in mind. That is most difficult.

  For example, my regular season opens up this weekend. What if I'm not 100% by Saturday? Do I risk going on the court and re-injuring myself? Or do look at the big picture and remember that it's a long season? That's where you have to trust yourself to make the right decision because you have to be completely confident when you're on the court.

CU Buffs (2001-2002)

  No one ever wishes to be hurt, or can predict when it will happen. It's just a part of athletics.

  As a competitor, you live to be out on the court/playing field. And you can only watch for so long, before you start to get frustrated.

  For me the key is to work your hardest on the things you can do, and try your best to remain patient and positive. Outside of those things, there's really not much else you can do, but heal!